Tuesday

Prince: The Most Under-Spoken Of Fantastic-Ness?


Prince is the real deal. This needs to be said as frequently and loudly as humanly possible by everyone on the planet. Don't believe me? Go to listen to Purple Rain, 1999, Sign O'The Times, or any of the other 5000 records Prince has made (don't forget about the Batman soundtrack!). For the most part everybody knows Prince's ruleness to be fact; the only people you'll find who don't like Prince are pretty easy to spot: they'll be using the words faggot and gay at a medium pace and with a consistency that levels with the words "the" and "and", have heavily gelled hair with a flip in front, and an outfit cordially designed by the good folks from Pac Sun, accessories consisting of either a silver or bead necklace ala quasi surfer wear. But anybody who listens to music (or has hormones) will tell you Prince is the man.

Then why is Prince so hard to find on greatest ever lists? He'll definitely make appearances here and there, but not nearly as much as he should. Let me make this clear: Prince is at least for sure as good as Zeppelin and the Ramones, both in songs, guitar, and albums. Yet these two will ALWAYS beat out Prince on every list ever. I love me some Ramones and Zep (two of my favs ever) but COME ON! Don't think Prince is as good as guitarist as Page? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLdVkoKNToE&search=prince

Interesting. Now, my definition of a great guitarist is by no means technicality. A whole lot of wener-wener-reer! doesn't make you amazing. To me that's the same thing as special effects in a movie: wow for a little bit but then you get used to them, then bored, then they just get in the way, then ruin the movie. Same goes for music, only it takes me only about 30 seconds to know the deal. A great guitarist is someone who bleeds their heart into their instrument. Actually that's what a musician is. That's what makes Pete Townsend such a f'ing great guitarist, as well as the Edge, as well as Jimmy Page and Hendrix. And, dun dun da dah, Prince. He's one of the greats beyond greats, a belonger to the cathedral of amaziness that only so many get to.

Now, Prince is, like I said, given credit. He was inducted into the Rock N'Roll Hall of Fame, made Rolling Stones greatest Rock Stars list, and can found on several best of lists. But there just isn't enough of it. I hereby declare that all motel and hotel rooms be stocked with a copy of Purple Rain, conveniently placed next to the Bible (I actually would suggest putting it on top of. I'll tell you a secret: Purple Rain is the real Bible, and Prince is Jesus). The Pledge of Allegiance be changed to Pussy Control. Essays in school about Rasberry Beret. Forget those cyber silver leather space suits with the V across it we are all apparently going to wear in the future. I suggest all purple ass-less chaps. Pretty much what I'm saying is can someone get me tickets to the Prince tour this summer?